When the Only Way Out is Death
by NatalieDragomir
Summary: The Hunger Games through Rue's eyes.
1. Fear Rules All

I stood in the town square, shaking from fear and keeping my eye on the glass ball at all times. People still were arriving and being roped off into sections. They wore expressions of terror also. Why did we have to go through this? Why did they make us suffer? Why couldn't we migrate to the Capitol, where all the children had fun and went to school instead of worked all day long?

It felt like all too soon before I was pulled from my thoughts by the lady standing before us and smiling. "Welcome, welcome to the drawing of names for the seventy-fourth annual Hunger Games!" She dragged on with her speech, keeping me in a trance and zoning out of it all. It was my first year and decided to go without tesserae; they couldn't pick me. The odds were certainly in my favor.

The woman first drew the boy tribute's name. Everyone watched with bated breath, not daring to move a muscle or blink. She flashed the pearly smile only a Capitol person could have and shouted the name. He stepped forward with silent tears streaming down his face as what was presumably friends and family shouted. They screamed for him to come back, don't die, don't leave them. As sorry as I felt, I was secretly glad it wasn't me.

She then made another mini speech and dove her hand into the girl tribute's ball. My heart raced, but it couldn't possibly be me. No way could a girl with only one entry be picked among all those.

Out came the paper, it unfolded, her voice rang...

"Rue-"

She never got to finish, because my scream cut off the rest. I tried to run away but peacekeepers hauled me back. Even kicking, biting, and squirming wouldn't release me from the tight grip. It was like I was in another state; my family cried just like the boy's, yelling my name and insulting the Captitol in muffled sobs, but my brain registered none of it. Cameras pointed and caught the whole thing as two victors on stage laughed. All of Panem would see my fit, but it didn't matter. I was hauled up on stage where the woman sat me on a chair next to the male tribute.

"Hey." He whispered. "I'm Thresh. Really sorry about you getting picked."

I simply nodded. "You too. There's not much we can do, though."

"You're right."

We stopped talking lady walked over and everyone else quickly scattered. How lucky they were, able to leave and go work again.

"Hello! Thresh and Rue, congratulations for being chosen! Are you ready? Of course you are! I'm Marina, and I'll be the escort for you both. We'll have a great time in the Capitol and in the games! Shall we go now? Yes, let's."

It was the first time I really surveyed her over. She had pale skin and silky, wavy chestnut brown hair that spilled over onto her shoulders and to her waist. Marina's eyes were large and animated, such a deep brown they were almost black. Her lips were glossed a light pink with silvery sparkles and took away attention from the light freckled scattered across her nose and cheeks. She wasn't very tall. It was the doing of the high heels, almost the same color as the lip gloss. It went well with the powder pink dress. A tight and sleeveless bodice, ruffled bottom that went to the knees and long, silky scarf. Would they make me dress that way once we got to our destination?

We followed Marina without an option. The cameras tagged along too, shooting our every move. It was announced that tomorrow we'd set off for the Capitol and begin training. It all felt like a dream; I would wake up in a couple hours, wrap up in my blanket and and tell my sister about it.

But of course, it turned out to be much more than a dream. I went through the everyday motions, along with crying quite a bit, until it came time to be whisked away to the Capitol. Nothing seemed real anymore; I was just going to die anyways, why even try to make sense of it all?

My mother came up and wrapped me in a tight hug. She didn't speak or say any words of comfort, but for what? Why lie to me? Of course my death was near. No purpose in trying to fill my head with crazy ideas of coming out alive. So my family members came to me, one by one, whispering goodbyes and I love yous. If only the Capitol could see the tears, the heartbreak this caused. They showed us our punishment for the uprising 74 years ago; couldn't it stop now?

Marina ushered me away and we walked to a train. It was just to soon. Everything hapened to fast. Just yesterday, my sister and I were singing in the fields before the reaping. All of a sudden this was my destiny. Nothing added up.

She showed me my room and I went right to sleep. No matter how nice we had to look for purposes of fitting in, sleep was all I wanted.

Hours later someone rustled me awake. "Rue. Rue! Wake up, it's dinner. Hey-HEY, RUE!"

Rubbing my eyes, it soon came clear that the someone was Thresh. His smile was warm and comforting, so unlike the recent events.

"What are we having? It's been so long since my mom was able to cook a whole bowl of rice for me, or maybe we'll even get a full piece of bread! Mine was always split with Zuria. She was my little sister, and do you think it was easy to stand her starving? No, that's why the bread was always split. No regrets, though. Wouldn't that just be amazing? A whole-"

He opened the door before me to a large table, complete with velvet red tablecloth and atleast 60 different dishes. Marnia, the two victors, and a few other people at around waiting. My mouth dropped open and I only stood there in shock.

"Well, after you."

I smiled and sat down on a chair with beautiful carvings and a plush cushion. Waiters came by and poured a red liquid into a crystal glass then set it before me, did the same for Thresh, and told us to start eating.

I piled my plate with fancy looking foods, exotic and never before heard of. They all looked amazing and it would have been great to try every single one, but Marina shook her head. "No, Rue. You have to save some room for dessert. Do you think we only serve one course? Silly girl, we'll have another big meal tommorrow." Looking around, no one else had a mountain of food, but it didn't matter. I stuffed myself like I'd never seen anything to eat before. I might as well haven't. My family never had enough for themselves and we always went hungry, staying that way through the night. Infact, the hunger never left, but we'd grown so used it that it never phased us anymore.

Feeling full was like living for the first time. No growling noises filled my head anymore, and everything tasted so good going down. All too soon did the waiters come around, take my plates, and leave a big, expensive-looking glass filled with creamy stuff in its place.

"What's this?" I mumbled, sad to see dinner go.

"Take a bite." Said a victor, extending her hand. "Hey, I'm Seeder. Just another winner in those games. I went in and came out alive, so why can't you?"

I shook it lightly. "And my name is Rue. Um, just another tribute. The answer to that question would be... there's only a one in twenty-four chance."

Seeder laughed loudly but quickly silenced herself. "Funny kid. Look, you know that one tribute always beats those chances and wins. Why can't it be you?"

Did she not see my small, fragile frame? "It just doesn't seem possible. Anyways, a career will probably win. They always do." I quickly glanced over at Thresh to see if he heard her comment or my doubts, but it didn't seem so.

She stared at me accusingly. "I'm not a career, neither is Chaff over here, but we won!"

"I'm sorry, I-"

"Forget it." Snapped Chaff. "Seeder, let it go. She's obviously not ready for this. You always try to make every tribute want to win, but does it ever work?"

We all dropped the conversation after that. The train just kept going, we kept eating, and eventually tiredness won me over once more. No one said anything when I dismissed myself to sleep. From here, it was the Capitol then the Games.

It was Thresh who woke me again the second time. We had arrived and were to go to our rooms immediatley. I gladly followed Marina up the many flights of stairs and past a large, regal door into my private dorm.

The inside was huge; a king-sized bed with downy pillows and comforter was against the wall, with a mahogany dresser next to it. Sunlight flooded in through the windows which had silk curtains draped over them, matching the pure white hue of the carpet. More drawers stood everywhere and were adorned with vases of exotic flowers. A large mirror hung on the wall that my bed was against with lillies and orchids twisted around the frame, but I couldn't tell if they were faux or real. There was a door in the corner that led to a grand bathroom, half as big as the room I stood before, but it could wait. These Capitol people sure did want me to be comfortable. Why shouldn't I deserve luxury while awaiting death?

"Clean up and take a shower. I'll be back in exactly 60 minutes for you to meet with the stylists." Marina informed. Then she left without another word, so it was up to me to turn on the shower and get ready.

The tub was just as big as in my mind, but confusing. Buttons and nozzles were everywhere. What would happen if the wrong was activated? I'd never really used something like this back in District 11. Some people owned one, but my family had sponges, buckets, and the creek.

Guessing worked pretty well. With the switching of two small levers, hot water came pouring from multiple nozzles and I was done within 10 minutes. After hunting for nice clothes to look presentable for 'the stylists', I found that the dresser was fully stocked. Picking out just one outfit wasn't easy. In the end, though, it was a simple cerulian blouse and knee-length, flowing white skirt. There was a brush on the surface so I combed through my hair quickly and looked in the mirorr. Not too bad.

No later did Marina rasp on the door. "Rue, let's go!"

The stylist was a young girl, about 20. Her hair was auburn and wavy, and fell to just above her shoulders. She wore plently of gold and royal purple. Gold eyeshadow, purple blusher, eyeliner, and nailpolish in a pattern of the two. A golden band wrapped around her forehead area with a purple pompom on the side. Chunky gold rings with purple stones, shiny bracelets, and anklets rattled when she walked. Necklaces made of huge moonstones hung from her neck. The stylist's bodice was a velvety purple material, contrasting with the slick gold of her skirt. It went down to about the knees like mine. What I found most interesting, though, were the high heels. Unlike everything else, they were just silvery-white. Even under a bit of obnoxious clothing, this lady was still pretty. Fair, glossy skin, dark almond eyes and full lips that remained unpainted.

"Hello, you must be Rue. I'm Castelle."

"H-hello..."

My voice must've sounded really scared, because Castelle's face softened and a warm smile spread across it. "No need to worry. We'll have a great time preparing you for the games!"

Not likely. Everyone wanted me to look fantastic, make a big deal of this, then cut to death? Why not just skip to the arena?

"We sure will."

Marina nodded and turned to back away. "Enjoy the meeting. I'll come back to escort her soon, just buzz when everything is done."

Didn't anyone have any idea how none of this was fun?


	2. Death is a Beautiful Thing

Castelle sat me down in a large chair and surveyed every aspect of my appearence. "You're very pretty." She mumbled. "I think we have a large selection of styles for you to choose from. What kind of thing do you like? It should be easy to work around your preference."

What was I supposed to say? "Um, well, back home there was never much to choose from. But it looks like you can help me pick something..."

Again, just more watching. Maybe some thinking was going on inside that pretty head, but I didn't bother trying to read her expressions.

"You strike me as the simple yet stylish type. Basic clothes that still make a statement. Great, I'll just design something. Would you like to meet the prep team?"

3 girls burst in through the door, smiling and laughing with eachother. They saw me and gasped, whispering things like, "would you _look _at our tribute? She'll be an honor to beautify!"

Guessing it was a compliment, I smiled. Castelle motioned for them to come over. "Haven, Vira, and Lisha. Say hello."

The girl who introduced herself as Lisha had light blue skin and midnight black hair that fell in silky waves to her shoulders. Very beautiful, icy blue eyes twinkled and shimmered above lips painted black and a small nose. Lisha wasn't too skinny but still thin, tall, and dazzling clothing that made me want to ask Castelle if I could use her style. A shiny silver top with an opened soft, gray cardigan clashed with a glamourous sequened mini skirt the color of her eyes, but in the Capitol must've been considered nice. It was to me, just a bit.

Haven and Vira had to be sisters. Both had such light blond hair it was almost white, only in different lengths. Vira's went down to just above the shoulders while Haven's was waist length, similar to Marina. They also shared pale skin and dark brown eyes that looked black. Vira was a bit taller but nowhere near Lisha's height. Each sister had a unique style, despite all the similarities. Haven dressed in nuetral colors and long clothing. White, long sleeved blouse with plenty of ruffles and a black skirt to her ankles. She had a gray headband and necklace, and underneath the skirt I thought I saw gray ballet flats. The skirt was too long to be sure.

Vira was a walking rainbow-literally. A big red bow clipped to the left side of her head, plently of orange necklaces, yellow tank top with thin straps, and a crystal green belt to hold up skinny cerulian pants. The last two colors looked the same, but I've seen a rainbow in District 11 and they always do. Indigo anklets and violet wedges finished off the look.

My prep team looked a bit ridiculous, but who knew better than real Capitol people. "I'm Rue, as you must know. Nice to meet you all."

A chorus of squeals and giggles responded. Would they always be this hard to communicate with?

Castelle silenced them, as if reading my thoughts. "Talk to the poor girl one at a time."

Lisha walked up to me with a brush and beckoned for the others. "We can talk as we work. So Rue, how are you liking the Capi-oooh, your hair is so nice. This is perfect to work with. It'll do _anything!"_ Another fit of giggles and smiles and I was going to blow. Because even though they didn't finish that quesion, the Capiol was getting to be too much.

So it just went like that for a while. Pointless comments on my looks, Castelle putting together a nice outfit sketch, until Marina knocked at the door. "Sorry to interrupt!" She called. "But it's getting late. Rue, you'll need to rest up for the next session tomorrow. Once the outfit is complete, we'll begin training!"

I gladly slipped from away from all the stylists and feel into step with Marina. "What's the training?"

She cleared her throat and smiled. "Well, you might not know much sweetie, but it's where you learn absolutley everything on the arena. How to tie knots, use various weapons, identify plants, and other skills. When all the assigned stylists have completed the tributes' clothing, they ride chariots to the training center. It's the first real look Panem gets at you. We'll give you a new room at the center. Then comes your interview with Caeser Flickerman, then the ever-anticipated games!"

No reply was necessary afer that. Obviously, the next remaining 10 days of my life were already determined. I locked my door and fell into another uneasy sleep, dreading the day they'd shut me off in that arena to die.

The next day, I woke entirely myself. No one pounded at the door for me to get up. It was almost disappointing. Thresh, though I didn't know him well, was one of the things I looked forward to every morning. Maybe because he was the only unforeign thing here; a piece of home.

After changing into a cotton white tunic and gray pants, a delicious smell wafted from downstairs. It could've only been a Capitol breakfast. After manuvering my way down plenty of flights of stairs and elevators, it turned out my guess was correct.

Everyone was gathered around a huge table and waiting for me. I took the seat between Haven and Chaff, only a little let down I couldn't sit by Thresh or Marina. Seeder, Castelle, my prep team, and Thresh's were also there.

Two waiters came by and served us. They were the same as on the train; a blond haired boy and a brunette girl. Neither replied to my quiet "thanks." After they left, I was going to shrug it off and eat, but Vira must've noticed it bugged me.

"Don't let it bother you." She offered. "Both were turned into an Avox. It's not like either has the ability to respond."

That intruiged me, leaving my breakfast forgotten for answers. "What's an Avox?"

Seeder chimed in with a light laugh. "Someone who commits a crime and gets their tongue cut off for it. None can ever speak again as a punishment. I've been served by plently."

Suddenly, the food didn't look so appealing. I pushed it away and just sat still until Marina announced it was time to meet with our stylists. We split off, but not without exchanging a quick "see you later." Thresh took this time to talk with me.

"Rue..." He began. "You don't deserve to be here. These games aren't for young children. Being only 12 it must seem so scary, but if you ever need any help, I'll be right here."

His words didn't surprise me. But it didn't make it any easier to let him worry for me, so I tried to relieve him of the big brother role.

"I'm going to be okay. You should probably save all the concern for yourself. We're both in for trouble here."

Haven then pushed me along. We shared a last glance that I couldn't quite read. Despair? Hopelessness? Or maybe that look was determination to take care of me, despite whatever I said.

Castelle circled me, pondering what the finished product should look like. My prep team kept shouting suggestions, things like colors or patterns or texture. They also asked my opinion, but nothing helpful ever came from me. My head was swirling with fear. The games were so much closer than anyone realized.

Finally, all 4 stylists got together and talked over the almost finished product. I had no idea what anything meant, but kept quiet and in my velvet chair. After a while, Lisha walked over with a huge grin and piece of paper. "Rue, we've decided what the dress should look like. If you don't like it then just say something. Nothing is final."

The sketch in front of me was nice, but why get excited over it? All this unusual luxury was only a constant reminder of what was to come.

The dress was a long, shimmery wheat gold. Apparently, that was the point. It hit the floor and pooled around the feet. The sleeves were puffy and wouldn't go past my shoulders. Above the hips was frilly, with 3 dark gold buttons and a little '11' embrioded on the right breast. Wrapped around the waist was a belt to look as though it was made out of wheat stalks with a star in the front, which Castelle explained was to be made of pure gold. The skirt part was smooth and silky, and flowed behind me. To go with the dress were thin ballet slippers much like the ones I was wearing, only colored to match the dress. Vira had said since I didn't offer any opinion, they took my current style and tried to incoorperate as much as possible. No jewelery accompanied my outfit, only a small golden band to go around my head that looked similar to the belt.

"Well?" Asked Lisha, once I looked back up from the design. "Anything you want to change?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm not the stylist. I trust your judgement best." Though it was difficult to overlook how this reminded me of Castelle's clothing, nothing came from me. All the gold and shimmery headdress looked closely alike.

They cheered and exchanged hugs, then buzzed for Marina who came impossibly fast.

"We'll see you later!" Called Haven as I walked out. "Once the dress is complete, you'll have to come and try it on!"

Marina walked me downstairs and to a giant TV, where I only paused and looked at it. "What... why are we..."

She pulled me by my arm to one of the velvet couches surrounding it. "We're going to watch the reaping. Everyone who got picked, so you'll know your opponets! Sound nice?"

"No." Wriggling free from her grasp didn't work, so she forced me down on the couch. "It doesn't sound nice. This is horrible enough already, please don't make me relive every moment."

At the same time, Thresh entered with an Avox who quickly left. He sat on the couch without protesting, so Marina started the tape.

It began with District 1. Two tributes were chosen, a quick word from each escort, and it went to the next. In some districts, people volunteered and argued over who should be the tribute. Why did they want to die? With every passing moment, my stomach wrenched up even more until the screen turned to the District 11 reaping. I murmered every word said to myself, knew every scream before it came, and cried before it was over. Seeing Thresh and I on the stage, looking horrified with families shouting, it just felt like the end was now.

Thresh brushed my hair out of my face and I instantly felt bad. He always comforted me, but what had I ever done to give anything back?

"Rue. The reaping's over. It's District 12 now. Please don't cry..."

After recomposing myself and wiping away the tears, it turned out he was right. But this made me want to cry all over again.

A young girl by the name of Primrose Everdeen was reaped. She started to step up until an older girl called for her, then volunteered. There was people saying it was too late, but others decided she was fine. In the end, though, Katniss did get her way and was the female tribute.

Though my eyes stung and throat burned, I did not cry. There was no reason to burden Thresh by having him play babysitter.

The Avox called for lunch and no one could even get up before I was gone. Hot tears streamed down my face and it got so bad, little hiccups escaped. My head swirled and spun, the world blurred out and everything hurt. Someone might've called my name, but nothing sounded like it should've. Only faint noises somewhere off in the distance.

I opened the first door that showed. Pushing right through it and falling down on the soft chair, it wasn't long before my 'big brother' did the same.

"What was that about?"

I just kept crying as he wrapped his arms around me and sighed. "I'll never understand why you stay so reserved when you do this. Why can't anyone do anything to help?"

He tilted my head up and looked me in the eyes. Of course, I _owed _him this answer. "Because we're already in enough trouble, going to fight to the death. We have enough problems. Why should anyone have to look after me when they're dealing with so much already?"

Thresh wiped away the tears and there we just sat, not saying a word. Eventually I calmed down and stopped sobing, which was when he grabbed my hand and helped me up. "Let's get going. And don't you worry. Even in that arena, I'll be there for you."

"That's... the problem."

"No. You just feel guilty, though it'll never made sense why. I don't get annoyed when this happens, which you misunderstand."

I tried to put a smile on my face just for him. A piece of me, just a small piece, felt as though it was real. He seemed content and walked me to the dining room.

Lunch was a blur. We went through the motions and ate very quickly. After that, both of our stylists were busy making clothes, so there was some downtime. Marina suggested a walk but she stayed behind.

Walking the streets of the Capitol was much different than riding a train through them. People rushed by, talking loudly about fashions, food and money. Everyone wore flashy clothing and stood out, which almost of made them all blend in as a mob. Thresh and I had this kind of unspoken agreement to act as if the Hunger Games never existed and this was a leisurley vacation. We laughed, talked, smiled and just had fun. Window shopping seemed to be popular, and the trends were absolutley ridiculous, so it was nice to forget our problems for once.

The day was perfect to stay outside forever. Sunshine beat down, but not too much. The air was still cool and a breeze wafted every once in a while. Being midday, everything was bright, shiny and sleek. The whole world was just perfect until the subject was forced on us, and we decided to go back before any trouble arised.

Back at the center, both of our outfits were complete. We seperated for a bit just to try them on, give our feedback, then took them off for tomorrow's chariot ride to the training center.

Later that day at dinner, everyone conversed happily. I wasn't sure what it was, maybe excitement for the upcoming games or just another job well done, but they weren't quiet as usual. Including me. Thresh, who recently had just made me realize I wasn't alone, was completley responsible for that. Only in a way he didn't know. In my head, death was the only way out, and I was starting to welcome it. Everything would be okay once my eyes closed for good and peace conquered fear.


	3. Preparations

**Author's Note: I am so sorry for not releasing a new chapter in a while. My computer broke and I was waiting for it to get fixed, but when it came clear that wasn't happening any time soon, I got a new one and wrote this. Hope you enjoy it, thanks for being patient and reading! (: Also, has anyone seen the movie yet? I'm going on April 5th, was it good?**

The next morning was one of the most decent in the Capitol so far. My sleep was okay, only haunted by a few nightmares. I'd woken naturally and just in time; Castelle was getting ready to have me wear the dress and ride into the training center with Thresh. We weren't doing our interviews yet, which thrilled me. Everyone would think I was weak.

All three girls from my prep team met me in the room to do my makeup. I tried to tune them out and just listen to Castelle, the only sensible one, but every now and then an annoying squeal would penetrate the imaginary barrier. "She'd look so great in gold." "Try a shiny hue right there." "No, lighten up on the powder! Thin coating, _please!_" It was mostly between the sisters, Vira and Haven. Lisha stayed quiet as she applied everything.

The process seemed to take hours, and glancing at the clock, it did. I'd arrived at 10:00 am and it was now 12:00. The ride was scheduled for 2:00, same as the reaping on that horrid day. Everything inside me was just numb with no feeling whatsoever, until Castelle motioned to everyone to stop. "Give the girl some space," she laughed. "It's time to let her see the mirror."

I slowly approached the shiny glass and peered at my reflection. Same me, small and thin with satiny brown skin, deep chocolate eyes and a sad face. Even so, the golden dress designed to remind me of home warmed my whole look and tied everything together. I couldn't help but crack a ghost of a smile.

"Time to go!" Marina opened the door and took my wrist. "We've got a big day; the Training Center is coming up! Come on and let's take that ride. Castelle, you need to come along." We stopped to get Thresh, and walking outside to where the chariot lied, I fell into step with him. It was kind of upsetting to go on the ride already when I had just gotten to see Thresh. However, this meant less time until my death.

The reality had just begun to sink in when I stepped into the chariot. It was such a blur since I'd come to the Capitol, and now the haze was continuing as we went even further. Saying goodbye to my family, styling dresses, eating the amazing Capitol food, coming close to a boy I'd never met. It all seemed programmed into me, and now I only went forward to feel rushed even more. It was an unexplainable feeling that washed over me.

"Okay. Rue, Thresh, I want you to listen closely. Heads high, smile, wave at the crowds. Make them love you," Lisha said softly. "This is the chance to show that you both are the obvious choices to sponsor."

I nodded and waited for the other districts to take off before we did. The ride was 10 miles, and we'd departed from the prep team and Marina without another word. Not that they'd matter once the arena closed in around us, but it hurt to leave people you came to care about. Castelle saw me looking back and shook her head. "No, eyes forward, look confident. Get ready to dazzle. I'll be in the crowd!" So with that, there was only silence.

Thresh was clearly annoyed by this fast paced ride designed to glorify us. It didn't mean anything and was purely for entertainment, but even so, something about it charmed me. My legs wobbled and hair blew all around, despite the golden band wrapping around it. He was completely correct about the pointlessness of this, yet somehow, the chariots were the most exhilarating things about this jail. Absolutely wonderful.

The moonlight glinted off my golden dress and I seemed to radiate. All the Capitol citizens were cheering, but it turned out to really be for the District 12 tributes. They were truly amazing, with sleek black outfits in dazzling flames. It made my clothes look basic. So much for getting sponsors.

All twelve chariots halted in the City Circle, right outside President Snow's mansion. He smiled for us all and presented himself, then the national anthem played. Cameras cut to each tribute, only a few seconds hold on each, but I saw every lens stop on the District 12 pair. They outshone everyone.

My heart swelled with fear just then. Those two were really something, and what if it meant no one looking out for me? What if it meant abandonment of not just myself, but Thresh? _No, no, no, _I thought sternly. _You cannot think like that._

With a final lap around the City Circle, we all disappeared into the Training Center to prepare for tomorrow. It would be a long couple of days, and an even longer night.

I was correct about an endless night. My room was on the District 11 floor and very large, undoubtedly to try and make me feel comfortable in such a strange place. It was all an illusion though, and the foreign feel scared me. My slumber was on and off, good and bad. Virtually no sleep was achieved.

The morning brought an easy waking. Thresh came in and gently roused me for breakfast. I stayed in my room for a couple minutes to change and take a shower since I'd never get these luxuries again, then headed downstairs to the table. Marina, Castelle, my prep team, Seeder and Chaff were all waiting.

"'Bout time you got up," Chaff said as he grabbed a plate. "We were waitin' for ya."

"I was only a few minutes late. You could've started without me," I suggested.

Seeder glared at Chaff, spitting her words out with a hint of venom. She was obviously upset at what he did. "Yes, sweetie, we could have, and you did nothing wrong. He was just being... him. Weren't you?"

Marina sighed and reached for a bowl. "Stop it and leave them alone. We've got mentoring to talk about, along with how to score nicely in training. I hope you'll help. _Both _of you. They have no one else to line up sponsors."

Thresh quietly picked at a strange fruit and stayed out of the conversation. I wasn't going to, though. These were my last precious moments of life. "I can manage an okay score, and they _will _get us our sponsors. The only people to keep us alive won't give up or leave us. I can count on that, _right?_"

Everyone at the table was taken aback at how I could pack so much attitude into my words. Me, the small, tiny Rue from a poor and starving district could be rude. Then the realization stung at my heart. _I couldn't. _This wasn't the friendly, sweet and shy Rue back home. This was the Capitol-bred tribute. "I'm sorry!" The words flooded out so quickly that I wasn't sure if I'd even said them, but there was no time to stop. "That wasn't what I meant. Really, it's just hard, and my death is coming, and..." Thresh's face silenced me. _Don't hurt him Rue, don't make him fight for you. Let him relax. Pretend you can manage on your own. _"And I'm working it out pretty well." It still wasn't exactly me: the girl back home wouldn't talk too much, but it was a start.

The rest of breakfast was spent debating when we'd get mentored. Marina claimed she had so much to teach me, but Chaff wanted to demonstrate how to wield a few useful weapons. Seeder didn't have much to show, but had a skill or two to pass down. My schedule was finally decided. Today, training was from 10:00 AM to 4:00 PM. I'd be with Marina from 4:30 until 9:00. We'd all sleep, train the next day from 8:00 to 2:00, then Seeder would take me from 2:00 to 4:00, and I'd be Chaff's from 4:10 to 8:10. The third and last day of training would only be from 8:00 to 12:00. Every tribute would eat at 12:00, and each would call out to have a private session with the gamemakers. This was what terrified me. Those gamemakers had control of what happens in the Arena: if they saw a small, weak girl, they'd pick her off and let the festivities continue.

My stomach churned as we all crammed into the elevator to go to the basement. Seeder stayed behind to get her mentoring sessions together, but I'd of felt much better if she came. The ride was short and actually fun; we watched the people shrink and my feet felt as if they'd stop supporting my weight anytime soon. I was shaky, but it temporarily took my mind off things. As it opened, though, every sick feeling came flooding back. The Training Area was large and wide, probably bigger than the District 11 floor. Centers of every skill possible were laid out before my eyes, most of them beyond my range of abilities. Careers were already hacking away with weapons at professional partners. I felt momentarily paralyzed, but Marina took my hand and walked me to the center.

"Alright," she said with piercing eyes. "This is important. You practice and work hard, and maybe we'll have some sponsors to help. This is also the only time anyone will teach you anything about inside that arena! Take it seriously. Lunch is in two hours. I'll pick you up at 4:00. Get started!" My guide, the only person who could be trustworthy, then left as quickly as she could. It hurt for the most part, but that could be taken up with her later. I'd have to focus at the task on hand.

Thresh wasn't by my side when I looked back. He actually hadn't been talking to me much recently, but I was absolutely sure there was a good reason. He wasn't the kind of person to do that. So, without further hesitation, I took to the "Identifying Plants" station and greeting the woman.

"Hi, I'm Rue. Um, can you teach me about plants?"

The lady nodded. "Of course. So if you'll look here, these are the most important to know. Stay away from these at all costs! I can't tell you how many tributes..."

She continued on like that for a while as I listened intently. Most of these things were basic knowledge back home: edible berries, poisonous leaves, medical herbs, though there were some new ones to pick up on quickly. This station was by far my favorite. Others were too harsh and demanding, attracting tributes many at a time to learn the cruel tactics of the arena. Needless to say, those centers were combat. I spent about an hour learning about the arena's greens before rotating to "Natural Medicines," then "Knot Tying." By then it was lunch time.

We all entered a room with 24 tables, and I was instantly confused. One for each tribute... was everyone expected to eat alone? It turned out that no, you were free to sit where ever, but there were plenty just in case. It still made no sense. Just in case? There was never a situation with more than 24 children eating here. Unless the gamemakers had something planned, but it didn't seem likely. I simply brushed it off and followed the others to where the food must've been.

This meal was nothing like breakfast; a long counter of food was set up just through a small doorway. The tributes lined up and piled food on a plate as they went through, then you chose a table and ate. At breakfast we usually had platters in the middle of a large table. But this worked out for me well since it provided some much needed privacy and alone time.

Then it occurred to me I wanted Thresh to come and sit at my table, so I quickly swept the room for him. He was nowhere to be found until the voice of a girl rang from the middle of the room: "But Thresh, why not?"

Every head turned to see the action. A blonde girl and brunette boy were standing in his way, wearing determined faces. "Come on, join us. There's no way you can turn this offer down." Careers!

His voice was barely audible but possessed much power. "I'm not one of you. Now go away."

The blonde girl let out a deceivingly charming laugh. "You probably don't understand-"

"I understand and I say no!"

She wiped all the artificial happiness off her face and put on a threateningly serious look. "We can keep you safe and alive at almost no price. What's there not to want? Anyone with sense would _kill _for this offer." I wasn't sure if she meant it literally or as a figure of speaking, and never got to find out. Just then, Thresh pushed her aside as the girl's allies starting shouting and jumping in. He pushed his way through and looked right at me, alone and worried at the table. My eyes almost pleaded, _come sit with me! _But he did the exact opposite. My only friend turned around and took a seat on the other side of the room.

The first thing that occurred to me was he intentionally did this, but didn't mean to hurt me in any way. So I hopped up and walked right over, praying that was the case. "Hi, Thresh."

"Rue, you should probably go."

"Why?"

He looked down and I saw anger flare up in his eyes. No, this wasn't the person I knew. He'd occasionally get angry but never at me. My thoughts were shielding the outside world so it wasn't clear if he'd actually said his next words, but it sounded real.

"I refuse to kill you, Rue."

**So, hope you liked the chapter! Sorry it wasn't very long, but I guess it's not much shorter than the others. I've already started the fourth and plan to have it up soon. Thanks!**


	4. A Self Battle

**Author's Note: Sorry if it's not as good as the others. My brother has this newfound obsession with Assassin's Creed and plays it on max volume all the time... horribly failing at trying to focus. And sorry I haven't updated in so long! I feel bad, but I was working on a couple new stories and tend to have a short attention span. xD**

I stared at Thresh, confused and somewhat worried. "Yeah, I know you won't kill me... what's going on?"

He shook his head and looked back at me. "You never know what it could come down to. Even if it's not just you and me in the arena, the gamemakers might do something. Other tributes can affect things to." He started to walk away but didn't get far. My speed made it impossible to get anywhere.

"So that's it? You're just going to ignore me for something that hasn't even happened? Come on, you've got so much more sense than this, I'm not as helpless as it seems-"

"Are you?"

That caught me off guard. This whole time in the Capitol, fear fueled some pretty uncharacteristic things. For the most part, though, he had a good idea of who I was. The crying didn't mean anything-if only people could see my family back home. My family... memories came flooding back. There were times we didn't get food for days on end, then when we finally did, I'd sacrifice my meal to younger siblings. Times when we were forced to work so hard, the local Medical Mistress was worried about damaged and broken backs. Local beatings that showed the Peacekeepers weren't afraid of punishing, laws put in place to represent citizens were powerless. Was that why I was acting the way I was? They meant everything to me, despite the horrid conditions we lived in.

"Yes, Thresh, I am. Why don't you believe that?"

"Just go eat before we have to train again."

He stopped talking and turned away, leaving me to eat alone. That's fine, I told myself angrily. Maybe it wasn't anger, but I didn't want to admit it. The next half hour was spent eating alone and trying my hardest not to look in Thresh's direction. There was a million reasons why he might've left so quickly, all spinning around and leaving me with a pounding headache. No, it wasn't supposed to be like this.

"Lunch is over!" A woman's voice called us back into the large room where I didn't belong. Most of the centers were beyond my abilities or content we were taught back home, so there was nothing to do but wander.

"Hey, look at that short girl over there. She'll be easy to kill off." The blond girl who yelled at my friend! A voice inside me said to stay calm, the Rue back home would brush it all off, but the Capitol Rue wanted to do something. "So small and weak, she can't do anything but stare. Can that girl even speak?"

Stay innocent, stay nice... "Yes, I'm very capable of speaking! And as for being small, don't underestimate your opponent. Haven't you ever been taught that?"

The girl advanced upon me with angry eyes. "My name is Glimmer. District 1, where an education is actually provided, so don't tell me I haven't been taught anything. If you have skills then show them. Get up to any area right now and impress me."

I knew that wouldn't happen. To impress a career is almost impossible, and with all the higher level training they receive, nothing surprises them. There seemed like no way out until a young girl with a small frame and gray eyes walked up. She seemed rather intimidated too, but was clearly trying not to show it. But where had I seen her before? She made odd feelings wash up, like some sort of memory was associated with her.

"Stop messing with someone younger than you and move on. Don't you have anything better to do?"

Glimmer flipped her silky hair and laughed, light and tinkly. "Of course I do, but what about you? Sticking up for a lowly tribute who doesn't stand a chance anyways? Leave us alone."

"No." The one syllable held so much power, it almost made me think the smaller girl could win. "If you want to prove your strength, go pick on someone else. Hurting a child years younger than you proves absolutely nothing. In fact, it almost makes you a... coward."

My breath was taken away then. She had so much bravery to stand up to a career, especially this one, who didn't want to back down. "We'll just see who's a coward in the arena! I want to kill you personally, drain every last bit of life from you myself! You'll be running in fear at the very sight of me. UNDERSTOOD?" Her voice was enough to make the whole room stare, waiting intently for the next move. It didn't come from my defender like expected, but from the District 1 tribute again. "Hm, it's not difficult to see why you'd feel the need to help this thing. Weren't you the volunteer girl? Rosie, was that your sister's name?" The smug smile plastered to her face suggested that Glimmer knew her real name but was trying to anger... Katniss. Yes, that's it! Everything I wondered earlier came rushing back, like water breaking free of a dam. Katniss needed no assistance. She could take on anyone alone.

"Primrose," she said quietly, with a hint of venom. "My sister's name is Primrose."

"Is that supposed to be pretty? Sounds pathetic."

"You're pathetic, now stop wasting time."

Glimmer smiled at a crowd of what must've been careers and turned on her heel. Katniss immediatley kneeled down to my height. "Are you okay? Did anything happen?"

I couldn't help but feel happy. This tribute cared for me. "I'm okay. She didn't do anything. Yet."

Her eyes were reflecting hapiness, possibly at me. They were a light gray, the color of stormy clouds, and beautiful. "We should probably get back to training. I'll be there if anyone else tries to touch you." There was a protective edge in her voice, almost a warning to Glimmer that she couldn't hear. Any girl who volunteers for her sister in the games must've been protective. I knew I had a new friend, but watching the blond girl stalk off, I couldn't help but think I had a new enemy, too.

"Okay." Marina put her hand up, flashed a pearly smile, and walked in a straight line. "This is how you should be at all times, especially when you know there's a crowd. Let's start with the wave. Extend your arm like this." She adjusted my position and nodded to herself. "That's good. Now the smile. Big and wide, be happy, you're a great tribute! Let it light up your face! The walk is the hardest part. One leg in front of the other, kind of crossing them, only-"

I walked across the room, just as she demonstrated, and could tell being in public was my talent. I'd do great, but it still felt like there was a gaping hole in me. Every new lesson in the Capitol that drilled into me was just one more step from home. Even so, it might've been luck; the more I'm liked, the more gifts are sent.

The clock changed to 8:29 and I felt my eyes drifting closed. This training wasn't just physically exhausting, it had its mental tolls too. My thoughts swirled around endlessly until Marina snapped her fingers loudly. "Rue? Are you alright?"

What was I supposed to say? Oh, not really. My only friend abandoned me and he was the very thing that kept me going. And I made a new rival, she wants to kill me and this other girl I met. By the way, the other girl is named Katniss and I want her to be my ally in the area, but we can't talk about that. And did I mention it's killing me to realize the Capitol has changed me completely? No, that wouldn't go over well with anyone, so I held my breath and nodded.

She sat down in a red velvet chair and motioned for me to do the same. Capitol people struck me as self-centered, shallow, and clueless, but maybe my escort was different.

"What's really happening?"

My breathing went shallow and rapid. Blood pounded through my head, causing an aching throb, but it all felt minor to the desicion before me. Tell someone and maybe the course of the whole games could change, or don't and forget the risk of looking pathetic and weak. It was drilled into every tribute by now; looks are everything. But maybe there was one more option-reveal half the truth.

"Well, in training today, a career came up to me and... started something. She targeted me, but another girl stuck up for me." I wouldn't even touch my issue with Thresh or the battle inside of me. Even Marina couldn't understand.

"And that's it?"

At that point, all the emotions boiled over. Did anyone really have the nerve to tell me that was it? I didn't care that the Rue in District 11 would stay calm and levelheaded. There was something more important at hand. "Yes, that's it! You people have no idea what it's like to be a tribute! The Capitol supplies no children to fight to the death, maybe that's why you're all so stuck up. Can't anyone here see it from a tribute's point of view? No, they're too dull!"

"Listen to-"

"No. I'm done 'listening.' I want to be heard now."

She looked at the floor, seeming to be in intense thought. Her next words surprised me. "Then don't you worry. I'll make sure you are."

I sat awake in bed for hours, pondering just what she meant. "Then don't you worry. I'll make sure you are." Taking my thoughts up with a gamemaker didn't seem likely. Other kids in the past 74 years had the same exact ideas and nothing happened. Why did mine differ? What made them important? Maybe it wasn't that what, but the who. Still, why was I unique? Nothing added up.

The clock read 10:36. Even though it was my only session with Marina, she'd let me out early since it was obvious there was nothing I needed more. Sleep, sleep was the answer, but it was just impossible with everything on my mind. The only thing that pulled me out of my head was a soft knock on the door. Undoubtedly Thresh. "Go away." He was the last person I wanted to see.

"Please?"

"You made it this way."

"But I can help you."

That made me rethink everything. Sure, it was selfish, but if he really could help... "Like how?"

"You'll see."

Suddenly, I wanted to laugh. Marina was fixing everything. Still, she couldn't fix absolutely everything. And there were just some things only Thresh understood. "You have five minutes to convince me this is a good idea. Come in."

He opened the door slowly and walked to my bed like I was a wild animal, approaching carefully. "So how does this work?"

"Just tell me why I should ever forgive you for today. The whole thing wasn't me, it was your stupid excuse for abandoning a friend when it mattered most. You even added in the worst reason a person could ever have-we might be stuck in the arena together. Come on, that's when we team up and keep each other alive! Who doesn't get that?"

His face showed genuine pain, but I tried to convince myself that was just acting. "And if you died? What's expected of me then? There would be no way to just move on like the gamemakers and all of Panem expect!"

"I'm stronger than you think, Thresh! Stop treating me like I can't handle anything!"

"Are you alright?" His tone was worried, like the voice an insane person might get. There were plenty back home, where thousands of things could drive a person to act like that.

"Yes." Thinking about it, it kind of scared me. I was alright. The big-brother role Thresh played once killed me; every time there was a break down, he'd be right by my side. This time, though, those words held no lie.

I was okay.

The Capitol Rue was taking over. Fast.


End file.
